I have just finished a most delicious curry whilst sitting at my PC reading all your posts. I have clocked off - honest. I am really busy at work at present, which is nice, and not so bored, so being very good and not coming on here during the worktime.
This morning I had my yearly appraisal with the boss, and he marked me up on my self assessment, particuarly the bit about passion
Must have been reading my emails
And we discussed salaries, and he agreed a bit extra for me - it is useful being HR at times.
Tomorrow afternoon I am going for a seminar in R's home town, and maybe, just maybe, if he can manage the time, then we will go to the love nest for the evening afterwards. I hope so, that will be a lovely bonus, and I am turned on already by the idea.

I just read a post on another blog where the blogger suspected her fella is chatting to some other woman online. It reminded me of a conversation I had with an African friend of mine the other evening.

This African friend of mine, lets call him John, is married to a sweet local girl here, and has basically settled down. He does keep suggesting to me that he is brilliant in bed, and he would love to show me, but I am not biting
Anyway, being African, he knows lots of other African guys here as well. They tend to find each other. African guys have a reputation among the local women as being good, and there is never a shortage of women wanting to sleep with them. Now a lot of these African guys are also married to local girls, as then they can stay.
Marriages of convenience and not of love. John was telling me how a lot of these women don't trust their men. They ring them as soon as they are out of work, wanting to know where they are, and when they will be home. They track their every move.
These are African men - proud men, not used to having to answer to a woman all the time. By their actions these women are pushing the men into doing what they are most afraid they might. They tell their wives they are round at Johns, and then they disappear off to the clubs and bars where all these women are waiting for a black guy.
John on the other hand, does not have this problem. His wife does not question where he is, she just accepts. I am not sure if this is out of total trust, or because she does not care, but as they have a small child, I think she does care really. She is one of the most giving people I know. And because John has free reign, he is not cheating on her. Lack of opportunity cannot be the reason, as he too could go to the same bars as his friends. He did it before he married, but now he is behaving, other than badgering me. And with me he is safe, cos I am as I said, not interested.

So maybe that expression about " if you love someone and let them free, they will return" is true. Jealousy is a powerful emotion, and can destroy what the person is trying to maintain.

This week is passing in a whirl. Work has suddenly become interesting, the atmosphere has improved beyond recognition, and the boss is becoming almost human. It must be his wind-down before he leaves.

Yesterday I was at the nest. It was magical. Every time seems better than the time before, but this cannot last. We met at the station, in our secret town, and went for lunch, then we went to our nest. Just as we had left it, so warm and welcoming. He only has to hold me in his arms, and I want him. I feel his hardness, I know I am so wet.
He lay me on our bed, and kissed me slowly all over my body, removing clothes as he went, feeling my breasts, my cheeks - all of them, teasing me, making me so want him.
We tried new positions, me astride him on a chair, from behind, on the bed, off the bed, it was fantastic, and I was insatiable.

He bought me a gift too. A gift voucher for a 2 hour session with a personal stylist. Not because he doesn't like how I dress, but to help me with my career style. He is incredibly generous, and thoughtful.

We took a break, drank tea, looked at pictures, and then we started all over again, until we were both satisfied.
Then we went to dinner, and talked of what I had been reading about libidos etc. He thinks mine is bigger than his, but he can keep up
We parted at 9, on our trains going in opposite directions.
At home, my husband was on the PC, as always, barely noticing me come in. My eldest was in her room, only the youngest waited up. I think she is the only reason I stay.

Respect is as important in a relationship as good sex. maybe more so, you can't have the latter without the former.
After the ordering off the TV, I started thinking about this. Who respects who?
Then my husband had mentioned he was writing a newsy email to our friends and sending some photos. I asked him to promise to let me see the photos before they went, so that i could delete the ones that i didn't like. He promised.
I got home yesterday evening to find the letter open on the PC, and the photos that he had selected. Some of them were totally unflattering of both me and my youngest. Awful. I was upset.
I asked if he had sent any already, he said no, so I looked in Sent.
2 emails gone with all the photos attached.

So this morning I broached the subject of respect. He rolled his eyes when I first mentioned that I wanted to talk about it. But I was calm, and assertive. I asked him if he thought respect is important - yes he said. I asked if he respected me, yes he said. I asked him what he thought respect meant.
Then I mentioned the 2 examples recently, which are just 2 of many really. He did say sorry.
I told him of when I don't feel respect for him, and suggested we work on it.
so today he has been very nice to me, and helpful.
Stage 1, of a long process. Not sure if I will last the course.

I am reading yet another relationships book, well I am female
This one is Hot relationships by Tracy Cox, she of the hot sex tips.
I made it to the chapter last night about the importance of sex to a relationship. Now i have read similar before, in other books, and so it must be true. But I impart some of it here.

Apparently Sex is the glue that holds our relationships together. We need regular sex, and regular is more than once a week. Even if it is a quickie 3 times a week, and an hour long session at the weekend we should all make time for good sex. Good sex makes up for problems otherwise in life or the relationship. Good sex moves the relationship from just being friends to being intimate friends. it makes us a unit, a couple, etc.
Lack of good sex always has a disproportionate effect on the working of the relationship. It leads to frustration, and colours our views on all the other problems we have. Everything seems worse.
Of course there is the problem of different libidos, and the book addressed this, as do others. And there is the problem of the sex not being good, also addressed.

Now if I could get my husband to read this book
I can't remember when we last had sex, i think it was last September, maybe October. But nothing since.
I know I am sexy, I don't need proof of that. But he is oblivious to my charms.
Good job I have my lover.
another thing the book said was that the more sex we have, the more we want, and I can agree with that. I guess the opposite is true too in some cases. A lot of people get used to no sex, but is it still a good, loving relationship, different to the ones they have with a best friend?

And my husband, where was he whilst I read this chapter, and then whilst I masturbated afterwards to relieve my needs? He was watching TV, even though at 10 to 11 he had ORDERED me to turn it off from what I was watching I didn't of course. But his argument was that it was late, and then he still stays up!!!
Not sure I will ever understand him. And I am starting to wonder if he is perhaps a closet gay

Ironically enough, on the bedside cabinet of my husband is a pile of books. 3 are relationship books. how to put the desire back into marriage, what women want, and another. He didn't buy them of course, and he will never open them - until maybe it is too late.

Remember my friends when I mentioned the email from Andy ?
Well now I received another.
He reckoned he did not see me at my daughters school
He misses what we had. ( of course )

and would I like to meet him whilst his wife is on holiday next month !!!

Some people have a lot of nerve. I said NO of course, and I told R. He offered to come and meet him with me, just so the guy gets the message.

It is a bit like the situation prettyintelligentprincess has with G. I don't know why they split. But Andy and I split cos his wife found out, and he panicked and ran. I think what really hurt then was that he would not meet me one last time to say goodbye, and sent only one short email after 4 weeks of no contact. That hurt a lot, and is not how you treat people.

The rush of completing the year end is over. So now I can calm down from the long days, and short nights, and from all the questions from the auditors.
I can look through my in-tray finally, and clear it a bit.

Last night I was with R in the love nest, so now I am coming down from the highs he took me too. It was wonderful, I found new energy. He had shopped before I arrived, he cooked, and then we made love for hours, watched some tv, fell asleep, awoke and made love again before leaving for the office. I am addicted now. It is official.

I have been thinking about Mark, and how much he had loved me, and all the things he had done for me. He and R would get on I think, they are very similar in a lot of ways.
But seeing him only once every 3 months or so was so hard, and now I am being totally spoilt with seeing R 2 to 3 times a month, we even have a long weekend planned in Feb at the nest.

My one problem today is that I told my husband I was on a business trip 5 hours drive away, which means I can't reasonably get home before 7pm, and it is Friday. I should have thought of another reason

at the office today from 8am until 9.30 pm, no time at all to go on the internet!
Get home and find the kitchen looking like a bomb site, hubby on PC, and kids watching TV!

So unfortunately no time to read posts, but I will catch up sometime soon

oh, and James invited me as a friend, I thought he would never ask

New year, and new look for my blog. I have changed the heading and the profile picture.
My life has definitely calmed down since meeting R. He brings out the best in me, and so I think I can remove my over 18 warning, although if you are younger, it probably still is not a good place to be

seems about right to me

You Are 79% Pure

You're pretty pure, and you have no plans on changing that. You do have a devilish side though... and it will probably get the better of you.

make your own at http://www.snapshirts.com/
with thanks to pollygarter

I admit to a little bit of procrastination on here before I start working again this afternoon. It is difficult to get back into work. Yesterday R had the day off so I skipped work for the afternoon for an impulsive trip to the nest. This was in no way planned, as I do actually have loads to do. But R needed cheering up, and he is the one person I want to spend more time with this year. Sometimes we need to follow our instincts. So we did, and the sex was fantastic. We did not have long - a couple of hours, so the intensity was high, and it was very satisfying.
And he had bought me a pink cashmere scarf to go with the jumper. It must have cost a fortune, and is so soft and warm. I need to be careful when I express a desire to R, he tends to act on impulse as well sometimes, and I don't want him spending too much on me.

So, before I get back to work I will just wish a happy birthday to Pretty intelligent princess, who I am sure is on the phone with MM as I write, or even better, in the arms of MM. Pollygarter has done a post about generating a wordcloud, so I have just done that, and assumming the email worked, I will blog my cloud this evening.

have a good afternoon, especially those of you stuck in the snows of Britain - get some cashmere