According to Gordon today is International Blog Day, so I thought I had better post something.
I have been a bit busy this week as we have family visiting, and I am chief cook and entertainer. I have still managed to find time to email with my lover though, and with an ex-lover. My ex-lover is causing me some brain ache, so I would welcome advice.
The guy I refer to as Res is now back at work, and his thoughts have been around what he wants, and where I fit into it. We had originally split up because his wife had found out about us, and it caused too much grief. We have agreed that we get on too well to cut all ties, so remain friends, by email because of the risk of his wife finding out if we meet.
He knows about my new lover, and accepts that that does not mean I like him any less - this is a major breakthrough, as in the past he would have been so jealous. He tells me that I am important to him, and he wants us to be friends, and maybe in the future we can be lovers again. No one knows what the future holds.
Today he mailed me however and wrote that he would like to be able to email me more erotic mails, while still respecting and accepting what we have agreed. Maybe it is me, but I have a problem writing erotic stuff to guys that I am not in an intimate relationship with, even if I was once. I have to really be in the situation to write it, I can't write erotica as an abstract concept. I also feel it is betraying my current lover, and it may increase Res's hopes and expectations.
So I don't want to do it, but I don't really know how to tell Res this. I am afraid he will think I no longer love him if I won't join in erotica. I do love him, but my love for him has changed I think. I never see him physically, and we had had only a short intense relationship, not long and deep like I had with Mark.
Probably he can accept this, I hope so, but he is very sensitive and takes things personally.
Probably 17 years of his wife refusing his advances has something to do with it.
Anyone any experience to share on this ?

3-somes was an idea I had once, and blogged about previously.http://sidejump.blog.co.uk/2007/08/02/threesomes~2744487
2 x guys who love me, + me = heaven. R and I discussed it whilst in Manchester, especially after watching Y Tu Mama Tambien
He told me that he could just about do it if the other guy was someone I did not love, but not if he could see love in my eyes.
Sooo sweet. What can I say? I don't want to do it with someone I have no feelings for, and I understand why he would be jealous if I was with someone I love as well.
So I won't be doing 3-somes, and thanks to those of you who offered your services last time I posted on this subject.
To be honest, 3-somes was a fantasy, and it should remain a fantasy. I am not so wild that I can go there, and even if I was, I don't have the energy. R is more than enough for me.

Incidentally the film was a disappointment. It was artistic, and showed lots of naked bodies, and the bodies were pretty good, the story line was okay, although long, but where was the 3-some? It was hinted at near the end, but we saw nothing. How am I supposed to get any ideas from that!!

So my 50 hours of fun and passion are over. It is probably just for the best, as I was very tired on the plane home - and slept very well last night.
The trip was all I hoped for, or even better.
The Place is great, we had 2 bedrooms, and 2 bathrooms, a lounge and a kitchen, and a hallway even, so we could play hide and seek, we could cook together, we could make love in every room there was, and if we fell out with each other, we could avoid each other. The last bit didn't happen though. We had a great time, not one raised voice.
We made love in every position, I even got spanked, although I can tell he is not really in to that. My luggage got through without being checked, thankfully, so we could use the contents of handcuffs, scarves, vibrators and games. And for sexymf I recommend buying chopped melon, especially watermelon, and keeping it in the fridge. The sensation of the cold melon on the hot body is fantastic, and tastes great when being licked off or out. It was so cooling after all that action, really eased any soreness.
Manchester is of course great for shopping, and I bought loads of stuff. R is unusual as he LIKES shopping, almost as much as he likes sex.
The comedy store was very funny, although blue. Unfortunately though it was really only very funny for me, as the english was way too fast for R, he couldn't understand the jokes. I did feel a bit sorry about that, as it was supposed to be a treat for him, but it is all a learning experience.
So now I have just 2 weeks until we meet again, which is about the right gap I think. I am counting the days though

Oh my, I have had no time to visit Blogland since before work this morning. I am frazzled. there is always so much to do before one takes a bit of a vacation, and there seems even more than normal.
Still, my desk is now clear, and soon I can leave. I am going home, pack my case with lots of lovely goodies, and then tomorrow I will meet R at the airport for our trip away. 50 hours together apparently - he calculates these things, must be the engineer in him
I have some great things to pack, I just hope that no one asks me to open my case.
R tells me that at airports the security people have seen it all, but I just know I will be totally embarrassed if they ask me to open it.
Plus I am planning on surprising him with my clothing, so I hope no bells start ringing when I go through the scanner, cos a frisk up and down will also be embarrassing, but part of the fun too
So, see you guys on the weekend. Be good now, cos I intend to be naughty, and I know pollygarter has similar plans, so that is definately enough naughtiness for all.

late addition: just read pollygarters blog and her plans are on hold - really sorry to hear that polly.

I am almost embarressed to post this, but it probably is only to be expected for me, so no surprises here.

What is your sexual appeal?

Siren
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So, it is only a few days until I meet R. My friends may recall that we were originally going to meet this week, but then I realised my period was due on the Friday, and if it came early, it would spoil everything. So my darling lover bought new tickets for next week instead.
Anyway, you can probably guess, my period did not come, not Wed, not Thursday, not Friday. I started to get worried. What if it decides to be 2 or 3 days late this time

So, I thought of drastic measures. I would have to seduce my husband, and that would hopefully get things going,  ( I can hear the guys groaning as they read this) but sorry guys, if my hubbie isn't interested ordinarily, and I am promised 3 days or passion, what is a girl going to do?

anyway, last night looked promising. My husband and I met after work for dinner - his idea. We ate in a lovely Restaurant, had some wine, all was promising.
We got home, my teenage daughter was still up so that was a bit of a blow, then my hubbie stayed up watching TV for a bit.  I retired a bit earlier, suggesting he join me. He came along about 10 minutes after me, the room was dark. We have two bedside lights each, a spot and a softer one. He switched on the spot, it almost blinded me.
" switch on the softer one darling" I said

so he did, but didn't turn the other one off

Then he said.
"One of the cats was in all today"
"Oh" says I "and "
" there is cat poo all over the shower room floor" he says

Oh my god! So he hadn't cleaned it up, just shut the door on it.

For some strange reason my desire to make love vanished, and as he wasn't bothered anyway, so we didn't.

Anyway this morning, we did make love, cos I needed to bring on this period, and now it has started, which is the major relief

and the cat poo?

well, I opened the room to the shower room. What should I expect? He had said the floor was covered with it, Dare I go in?

The smell was awful, but the source of the smell turned out to be one turd, which I scooped up with some toilet tissue and threw down the loo. The shower mat which had residue on went in a bowl of water, and i quickly wiped the floor.  That was it. No major mess

so why couldn't he have done that last night???

It is just 8 days until R and I visit Manchester. He knows the city quite well I think, but I have never visited. He has been such a darling with changing dates etc, that I want to find something really special to do on one of the evenings we are there - the 22nd or 23rd of this month. I have visited the Manchester Tourist office page and discovered that it is Gay Pride week, which is not what I had in mind, but I haven't discovered much more.
There is no football on, no good theatre, no concerts, help!

anyone got any suggestions ? - and not 3-somes or the like

Where is everyone? All this nice weather is keeping you all off the PC. The Sun is actually shining here today, but I have the ironing to do. Just putting it off a bit

My husband has gone out to the local naturist river to see what is happening - not my scene though. Before he went he was telling me all about pixel counts, and why bigger is not neccesarily better - it was very boring, I nearly fell asleep, although that may have been due to the lunchtime beer. Why does he drone on to me about stuff I am not interested in, which I have not asked about, and when it is obvious I am only half listening

My scrabble rating is going downhill. Yesterday I played my gym addict friend, and the chat was very distracting. In fact it makes me horny again just thinking about it. I am not sure what made me do it, maybe I was bored, or shall I blame hormones
He beat me both games, and we both orgasmed from the chat.

And today I played 2 games, but against women, no naughty chat. And I still lost

So now I will do some ironing, and maybe watch the movie Y tu Mama that sexymf recommended and has now arrived from Amazon. I hadn't dare unpack it until now, but as I am fairly alone, it might be safe to watch it.

TTFN

Like Chynadoll, and probably like many others, I have just received yet another invite from some guy who has not posted anything yet, in fact this guy hasn't started his blog yet.
I do have one or 2 on my friends list that do not post, or very irregularly, and I took a chance with them, but it does seem there are some predators out there who are attracted to the more sexy or lively blogs, shall we sayD
So my new policy is always to deny if the person inviting has not yet posted, male or female, and I have updated my profile accordingly.
And then Ryan is getting hassle from non-friends, and I guess that happens a lot too. Some people use this community for their own ends, I think Steve_p has posted on this once. It seems a shame, and so far I have been spared the darker side. I hope it stays that way.
We don't want too much of the negative side of the real world infiltrating Blogland, now do we? This is our escape place.
And now I had better start the cleaning, it is Saturday after all - although everyone else is still in bed

It is only 12 days now until R and I will be in Manchester. The excitement is building, as well as the longings.
R was not sure about my wish for some light spanking. He has never hit a woman, and felt it was not right. Now I am not going to force the guy to do something he doesn't want to, but we have been discussing it now and then in emails, and he is coming round to the idea of giving it a try.
So now I need to instruct him in the fine art of erotic spanking. I emailed him yesterday with his first set of instructions, which was a turn on for me writing them, and a turn on for him reading it. I think this might work
And I have just found a blog that deals only with spanking. It is very good from what I have read so far. It has stories about spanking, fiction and real, and it has loads of tutorials. I have linked it under fav blogs here, if any of you want to visit it.
I will be reading it quite often in my lunch breaks I think, so if you don't find me here, that is where I might be.

On antlady69's blog she has some piccies including one of a very nice calendar in her office. I commented that I could not have a calendar such as that in my office, as all think I am so good and moral.
And you know, that is how I like it. Here in blogland I can let my alter ego loose. Mark observed that this blog reflects me as I would be if there were no constraints, and he is right, he knows me so well
Here I can explore issues that I do not come into contact with normally, I can see into other peoples worlds and lives. The problems we all have are really quite similar, but they are not necessarily what we would discuss with our work collegues, or neighbours, our friends, or even our spouses.
Here behind the anonymity of sidejump I can explore my psyche and my sexuality. I can tell the world when i am feeling horny, or when I am angry, sad or happy. Sometimes I surprise myself, but I have not disappointed myself yet. It is good to free the alter ego, but my morality etc does not necessarily disappear, I am still the same person, only freer.
Wow that was deep

This story is about a mystery english man whom police in Mannheim have been trying to find out the identity of for the past year. He has totally lost his memory, and lives in a fantasy world.

http://www.spiegel.de/international/zeitgeist/0,1518,494049,00.html

considering that they have been trying to identify him for so long this is the first I have heard of the story, presumably in the UK it was more widely publicized last year?

I have been very busy this morning, and felt I may have neglected R, so I wrote him a poem to say sorry It may not be Byron, but it isn't too bad for a quickie.

Marriage can be wonderful,
Marriage can be good
But if the passion fades away
Something dies inside of us

We all need to be with someone special
we all want to feel truly loved
Accepted as we are, no conditions
By someone who loves us

So when Marriage becomes a chore
when lovemaking is just a bore
then we are not really alive
something has died inside.

We met on the internet
It's crazy but it's true.
2 people seeking something more
2 people seeking love.

Although we are both married
and don't want that to change
We both know that with each other
Something good is there

Our love is good and beautiful
We do not harm any one
Love is bringing us alive again
I don't want it to end.

Today has been a good day. I hit my closing target with several hours to spare. The figures are where I was hoping to have them, and I did some sexy texting with my lover.
I sent him a picture of me asking if I looked tired ( due to being kept up by a mosquito last night, and of course my husbands desires on Saturday night)
He replied,

a little, but generally  sexy and desirable

and now I am going home. Cheers.

Our little dinner party went pretty well last night. My husband did decide to go for a run just before it though, so got home 10 minutes before our guests arrived! So he was a lot of help - not. Still, at least he owes me now, and did tidy the kitchen this morning.

The grub was great, even though I say so myself - wonder if there is a blogthing about how good a cook one is.:p

I got to bed about 1.30 am, having I admit, spent some time on here. My husband followed 30 minutes later and was horny! Typical, at 2 in the morning, when I have to get up at 8.
He wouldn't take no for an answer though, just kept ramming me in the back , so in the end, I gave in. but it didn't take long, and no I did not find it a satisfying experience.
Crazy, I am horny all week, but can't get excited on those rare occasions when my husband is actually interested.

So today I was very tired , had to get up at 8 for Church, but made it to the Gym this afternoon, which has woken me up enough to cook dinner for his nibs, who is sunning himself by the river somewhere.

At least I can go back to the office tomorrow, and feel appreciated again

Today we had to clean up. Friends coming for dinner tonight, and a lazy daughter who has been home all week and not lifted a finger means it was high time for the weekly clean up. We used to have a cleaner, but she stopped before summer, and so we are inbetween help at the moment.

Sometimes I entertain ideas of cleaning as a family activity we can all do on a saturday morning, after all it doesn't take long, especially if all 4 help, but it will never happen,
My daughters, who are of an age where they would be household slaves in some countries, do not do tidying up or cleaning. And my Husband always has to make such a big show of helping out.
He crashes about, and moans and groans, so we all know he is having to do something, and then he will only half do the job anyway.
m1cvg asked me in my post about passion in marriage if my husband and I are friends. I think we are to a degree, but we are not a good team. At work I have no problems with team work, but with my husband, we always argue, whatever it is. I could never work in a business with him, that is for certain.
So the only passion this morning was passionate anger, and I know it would just be easier to do the cleaning myself and be done with it. But is that really fair I wonder, when I am the one who has the most stressful and long working day of us all, every day

Next week I will advertise for a cleaner again, and harmony may return

Well, I have had a great mention from Gordon this morning in his blog. Thank you Gordon. However he has put me under pressure by suggesting that my blog is one for the adults as it were, which it is, but I do blog other stuff as well - occassionally, really I do

Anyway today is one of those days when my post is totally sex free

Our cats have fleas - and I know this, not because they are scratching themselves, I think cats do that anyway, but because the fleas bite me too. And I react VERY badly to cat fleas. I now have various areas that are red and inflamed, with the skin all puckered around 2 or 3 tiny bites that itch like crazy and ooze liquid if I scratch them - warned you that this is not for the squeamish.
So we have replaced the flea collars on the cats, and I am applying various creams, but at the moment it is a very unsexy look. Fortunately I was pretty much bite free last Monday evening, and now I have 18 days to get rid of all these remaining reactions. So if anyone has any good tips, I will be forever in their debt. Personally I think my body overreacts to the bites, and attacks them with everything it has, so it is my own doing.
and now one of the cats has just jumped on my knee, so I had better go quick.

I left work early today, it is the weekend after all, and when I got home, there was no one here. Total silence, not even a cat.
Wonderful, such a change. I didn't know what to do first, should I check my mails? should I have a game of on-line scrabble? should I raid the fridge? or should I go to the bedroom and get one of my toys out?

In the end I did the first 3, and was about to do number 4 when my daughter came home
She reminded me that we had no food in the house, so that was number 4 - hit the supermarket.
Despite thinking sweet and longing thoughts of R the whole way round, the supermarket is definately a turn off - and of course I returned to a full house, so the toys remain in their bags, for another time I am alone, which could be a while

sexymf alerted me to this guy and a movie in my post on threesomes. I think I will rent it.

Lunchtime again, and I am still turned on. Well, I maybe have not been turned on every since yesterday, but most of the time, and now I am turned on again. R is out on his bike this afternoon, and I have been dreaming of those legs going up and downD
I, on the other hand, am stuck in the office, with a pile of work to do, and I know what I would rather be doing.
So to relieve the monotony and frustration before I start work again I have been on Blogthings - again.  And once again, it is scarily true, although I wouldn't say I was a drama queen.

You Are Right Brained In Love

Bit of a drama queen Peacemaker, first to end a fight Good at thinking up creative dates Tend to fall in love and get hurt easily Going with your gut instead of your head Empathetic and caring, sometimes to a fault Good at recognizing patterns in relationships Been in love many times, perhaps too many to count Wildly passionate and intense when falling in love Spontaneous with relationships, going with the flow Overly visual - can play back past dates like movies in your mind Roses, love poems, and stuffed animals are a good start to winning your heart

I suggested to Mark the other day in an email that if I come to Israel to visit him, then maybe I could bring R with me, as R is up for a threesome. At least I think he is. I told him it was a fantasy of mine - 2 guys and me, and he reckoned he could understand that and we can discuss it in Manchester, so I take that as an indication he might be prepared to join in.
I can't think of anything better than being with 2 guys I love, and who love me, at the same time - I would be in heaven
Unfortunately Mark said no. He is all for a 3-some, but 2 women and him!
Gawd, what is it with men!

well it was yesterday - the weather that is, but I thought the title might draw you.
And now it is dark and thundery, with flashes of lightening. I am half hoping that we will have a power failure, and then I can tackle my filing pile, but on the other hand it is month end, and I have a tight deadline to hit, as usual.
I am now on my lunchhour, so blogging in my own time.
I am also turned on - again, so we are back to the hot and sultry. This is using so much energy! An email or two from R, some texting, a read of some blogs, and I am turned on again. Pagandiver is to blame, he writes too erotically. Why is it that even though I am not into BDSM, his dominant and confident style of writing is a turn on? I guess that is why it is erotic writing. It doesn't have to be something necessarily we want to do, it just suggests things to the brain - like Sienna was blogging about yesterday in her sexy in public post. Suggestions come in, bypass the sensible part of the brain, and go direct to the erogenous zones.
And now I have just read a comment to one of my posts by sexymf, and even that turned me on. OMG! shameless! I think I need to go and eat something, and think of something boring.
BBFN

I see that both Chyna Doll and Kevin Wilson with his eagle eye blog are the featured blogs of the day. Congratulations to you both.
Kevins blog is linked under fav blogs on my page, he is pretty funny.
Not sure I ever want mine to be a featured blog though.

Oh, just noticed that adamantixx is up there at number 10 too. Wow I have some influential friends

I did discover a side effect to my new diet last night. If the body is indeed expecting Sex Instead Of Food, then that is what it is expecting, so if it doesn't get any sex, then it will be hungry. So last night I was hungry, and would have got my new little toy out to satisfy my hunger, but my husband was asleep next to me, so I couldn't.
And I couldn't use my Husband to satisfy my hunger, cos well, it just doesn't seem to hit the right spot.
Ah well, at least the weight loss stayed off.

This afternoon I have the afternoon off, so I might go to the Gym, which is always good for looking at the fit guys and getting the happy hormones whizzing, as well as working on the thigh muscles, almost as good as sex actually.
see ya