I have just come across a potential new blog friend - sexymf. His blog is similar to mine in theme, but there is one difference. He claims somewhere that having had an affair he decided they were too distructive, and now pays for sex instead.
This raises several interesting (well to me anyway) points. What is more destructive about an affair over paying for sex? I can imagine that yes, an affair has greater destructive potential. One becomes more involved with that other person, time, energy and money is spent contacting them and keeping in touch, in seeing them, spending time together. These are all resources that we are taking from our spouses, as well as the love we feel for that other person distracting us, and taking from our love for our spouse.
Of course to that point, I fall back on my belief that the heart expands to allow more love in and to allow more love to be given.
The second point raised is of course that for men, they can pay for it much easier than we women can. They do have that extra choice. Paying for sex allows a man to keep it as business, as fulfilling a need, with no strings attached.
Women do of course use escort agencies, and I imagine the guys who work there are very skilled, but for me it is never something that crossed my mind to do, it would not be for me, and I suspect it is not what a lot of women really want, that is why there are not so many male prostitutes that aren't catering to other men.
I guess my final point is, would a wronged spouse feel less wronged if the other man / woman was being paid for their services? if there was no love involved? Maybe they would, maybe not, and maybe it depends on the sex of the spouse.
But I wish sexymf a lot of luck and I hope happiness in what he is doing. You are not alone.